No Time for Success? Part I

Who's got the time?

No, I know it's 6:13pm Mountain time, I'm wondering who has time for success?

Today is part 1 of a 2-part posting about taking time for success.

Earlier today I was thinking about acknowledgement and recognition. For example, do we need recognition in order for an accomplishment to seem real? I don't know about you, but I'd never considered this until today.

Perhaps it's because I've just released The Success Method. This is a project that's been in the works for years - I started R&D for this concept over 10 years ago.

Today I was wondering to myself, if only a few people buy it, does that mean it's not a success? Does that diminish the pride I feel for the product itself? It is any less noteworthy if it only changes my life and no one else's?

Interesting thought.

I've also heard people say "I just had to tell my ______" (spouse, best friend, dog, parent, etc.) "It just didn't seem real until I shared the news."

Why is that???

We spend more than half our lives denying that we are co-creating our reality - we blame others or God for our circumstances and our lot in life. And then, whenever we finally create something good (or mistake it for "luck" or some other such nonsense) it doesn't even seem real to us until we can get a second opinion. Interesting!

Could it date back to seeking our parents' approval as a child? We never got all the approval we craved, so we continue to search for it even now?

Ah, if only our parents had taught us the secret of totally satisfying, remarkably fulfilling self-approval. How different our lives would be now!

Fortunately, we have a choice. We can begin our self-approval process right now! I actually did just that today.

I was sharing my good news with some friends--some to whom I hadn't spoken in a very long time. One of them actually wrote me a very pointed and nasty email. Imagine that! But it happens sometimes when we step out of the norm and do something exceptional. Members of the herd try to drag us back into the pasture with the other sheep. However, this time, instead of reacting the "normal" way and getting pissed off and firing back my own nastiness, I did a miraculous thing.

I paused.

I took a couple of deep breaths to prevent my heart from racing. The blessing and curse of email is that you can rarely get across the TONE and MOOD of what you intend to say. (My guess is that this person was going for a much nastier sound than the way I read it!)

I didn't react.

I didn't get angry.

I didn't get nasty.

Can you apprecaite what a huge occurance this is? I am about half Italian and you know that temper can flare! It seemed miraculous that I was able to respond that way.

But today had already been long enough and I didn't want any more drama. I wrote a very sensitive, polite repsonse and I let the person know I'd take them off my address book. I mean hey, if they aren't interested in my life, why bother them? There are plenty of other people who want to know what's up with me. Why pester this one when I could be helping that one, right?

And then after I sent it I noticed something interesting.

Instead of feeling charged and ready to fight (as I would have felt, had I returned the nastiness, waiting for another nasty email so I could go at it again) I felt completely calm. I felt relaxed. I felt good, actually.

It helps to rememebr that when someone flares up at you, it usually has nothing to do with you. It's not YOUR issue.

When I yell at my husband (yes, I yell. I never claimed to be perfect) for leaving socks on the floor or not emptying the stinky diaper genie, I'm not really angry with him. It's not HIS issue. (Hey guys, I'm not letting all you off the hook for not helping out!!! I don't need any hate mail from the wives, ok?) When I yell at him, I'm angry because of MY issue. Maybe I feel stressed and overwhelmed and I want some help but I have issues asking for help and he should just be able to read my mind. Maybe I'm feeling taken for granted (also my issue). Whatever it is that "he did" it's really about ME.

When someone gets angry with you - it's not about YOU, it's about them. Of course, it helps NOT to point this out in the heat of the moment, and looking smug is generally not a good idea either.

So I knew this angry email wasn't pointed at me. And I was able to let it go instead of defending myself.

I say this like it's an easy thing. It's not. Go ahead, try it, I dare you. The next time someone picks on you, just remind yourslef that it's not you. Listen to what comes up in your head--what does the "monkey chatter" say? Resist your ego!

That's why we say "No one can MAKE you mad." It's true. It's not them, IT'S YOU. I know, personal responsibility comes up a lot during this blog doesn't it? Well, apparently it's a hot button with me.

Anyway, I do have a point.

When I acknowledged this feeling of calm and release afterwards, I stopped to praise MYSELF for the way I handled it. I mean hey, I even impressed myself. I was able to look back on the way I used to handle things just a few short years ago and the difference is like night and day. Or Jekyll and Hyde.

I don't know about you, but stopping to acknowledge my own growth is not something I do regularly. But I definitely deserve to do it more often.

How about you?

There's a quote from a great poem that says:

"So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers."

Wow. Powerful stuff. Here's today's question for you:

How often are you taking the time to acknowledge your growth and your accomplishments? or are you still waiting for someone else to bring you flowers?