To Set Goals...Or Not To Set Goals? Here Is My Answer

I was recently asked an excellent question, and since I thought you all (that's "y'all all" as they say in New Orleans) might appreciate hearing my take on it, I decided to post it here.

The question is about goal setting. Some Law of Attraction teachers will tell you that setting goals is essentially admitting that you don't currently have what you want to create -- in other words, "I want this because I don't have this" is what you're sending out, and we know that whatever we focus on expands, so are we really just shooting ourselves in teh foot when we set goals?

(OK, so I've paraphrased, but hopefully you get the gist of what this person is asking.)

Here's my take on goals:

You don't get what you want, you get what you ask for, so you better be 100% certain that you are asking for exactly what you want!

When used properly, the goal setting process offers an excellent method for gaining clarity around what you want, defining exactly what it would be like to have it, and opening a door to allow it into your life.

Without goals, you can get fuzzy results.

For example --

Let's say you want a brand new hot tub.

Now let me take you through teh goal-setting method, and then I'll show you where most people get tripped up and caught in the "oh poor me, I want this and I just don't have it yet" trap.

BTW, if you just set the intention that you will receive a hot tub, and you don't set a goal around it, you may still get a hot tub. Unfortunately, it may not be the hot tub you want, and it may take a lot longer than you'd like. But there's more than one way to skin a cat, as they say.

Now, if you're using the goal setting method, or you're coaching with me, I'd start by asking you a few questions, such as these (BTW, you can apply these to ANYTHING you want, not just a hot tub):

What kind of hot tub do you want? Be specific. Include size, shape, color, features, etc. Don't worry about the price, just pretend (teehee) for a minute that you really can have anything you want. And from that perspective, what kind of hot tub do you want? Write it all down. If you don't know what your options are, start window shopping online and see what's available. Ignore the cost for now.

Why do you want a hot tub? This part is critical -- identifying the underlying reasons for what you want and why you want it will provide a world of insight. Usually it will even provide additional clarity around the answer to the previous question.

What will it feel like to use your new hot tub? This is also important (ok, it's all important. I do my best to leave out the stuff that's not important.) because it helps you personalize (Nevillize) your goal and it will assist you in your visualization around the goal. It also helps you believe that you really can have it, because you know what it will feel like to have it.

Now, taking all your answers to the above into consideration, yuo can begin to formulate an idea of exactly what you want. This is the fun part because you get to go shopping.

This is the first place where some people get tripped up.

They may go shopping, but they're embarrassed to ask any questions because they know they can't afford to buy a hot tub today. They look at the beautiful spas for sale and think "oh, I don't think I could ever have that one, it costs too much. I wonder where the clearance hot tubs are."

NO NO NO! Remember, you WILL own a new hot tub, so start right now BEING a person who is planning to get a new hot tub!

What kinds of questions would you ask? What kinds of notes would you take?

When I'm window shopping, I take pictures with my phone or digital camera. If possible, I take a picture of ME with or holding or inside the thing I want -- it helps me visualize myself with this thing, taking ownership, taking possession right now.

If you wait until you have hte money to start shopping for it, you'll never get the money! You've got to claim it now if you want the delivery mechanism (money, resources, etc) to ever show up.

So go out and get very clear on the hot tub you want -- start shopping for your new hot tub, even though you don't currently have an extra $5,000-10,000 lying around (if you did, there'd be no reason to set a goal -- you'd just go out and buy it right now). You shop and shop and you go sit in the hot tubs -- you get brochures from the sales person, you find out whether or not they finance, you take measurements and check with your HoA, the whole nine yards.

After all this, you decide that you would love to have an 8-person hot tub with turbo jets, neon lighting, a waterfall, built-in speakers, beverage holders, adjustable everything, hydraulic cover lift, the works. Let's say this hot tub you want costs about $11,000.

Now it's time to set a goal.

Can you see how you've already taking possession in your mind? At this point, setting the goal is a mere formality -- but a powerful one indeed.

Most people get tripped up because they attempt to set some random goal, without doing any of hte above first. Then their goal may not seem entirely believable, and of course the goal can reinforce a sense of lack, or bring up feelings of undeservability.

Now, if you didn't set a goal in the way that I'm suggesting -- if you merely set the intention to get a hot tub, then don't complain when the cold tap on your bathwater stops functioning. Don't complain when you're at a garage sale, and someone is selling their 10-year-old, rusted out old hot tub, and it's at a price you think you can afford. Don't get mad when you move into a new house that has a hot tub...that's broken.

Don't blame the universe -- if you ask for something vague, that's exactly what you'll get.

Remember, you won't get what you want -- you get what you ASK for. So you'd better be sure that you're asking for exactly what you want! (That's where I find goal setting to be particularly helpful)

What are you waiting for? Just go for it!

QoD: Do you have a burning question? Email it to me at amy @ newsuccess.org

If you would like to schedule one-on-one coaching with me, click here for Coaching.