The Truth About "Churches"

It must be really confusing to be a kid.

Looking back, I can see with perfect clarity some of mixed messages I received while growing up.

My dad used to always tell me, "You can do anything you set your mind to." But my mother was always telling me what I could and couldn't do.

He also used to say, "Find a way to make money doing something you love, and you'll never 'work' another day in your life." But I always wondered why he chose a career he clearly didn't love, and didn't make much money at anyway.

I'm sure I'm not the only kid who feels that kind of confusion -- what's really true? I remember challenging my dad once...I was whining about something I couldn't do, and he pulled his classic "you can do anything" line on me.

And I can remember the face I made -- skeptical, scrutinizing, a face that said "Yeah right. Prove it."

And I said, "That's not true. I can't be President of the United States" (because...at least back then...kids like me didn't know what a dull-ass job that must really be.)

Dad replied, "Of course you can. You can do ANYTHING you put your mind to."

I said, "Yeah, but there's never been a woman president."

My dad said, "So?"

And I walked away from that conversation even more confused than when it started.

But that particular conversation is not what I'm writing about today. I'm thinking of another conversation from childhood -- this time with my mother.

In eighth grade, I had decided I didn't want to be confirmed. Confirmation was a big deal, everyone was talking about parties, receptions and new dresses. Seemed like much ado about nothing to me, so I opted out.

My mother was furious. She insisted that I just wanted to be "different," to "stand out" (as if that were a crime). I told her I was listening when the teachers at my Catholic school were talking, and I wasn't sure that at age 13, I was ready to make any life-long commitment kind of decisions. Besides, I wasn't so sure Catholicism was the way I wanted to go.

And then SHE said (in an exasperated tone):

"Amy, you can't just shop around for a religion! You're born into whatever you are, and that's that."

Since she couldn't actually MAKE me get confirmed, I did in fact opt out. And instead, I hung out with the 2 protestant kids who weren't being confirmed either.

But I never believed her about not being able to shop around. Why the hell couldn't I? I mean, wasn't it bad enough that I had been born into a poor family? I sure as hell knew I didn't have to stay poor my whole life, so why did I have to be stuck with being Catholic forever?

Plus, it didn't seem to me that God really gave a crap one way or another, so long as you kept in communication with him. I had a hard time believing God would let certain religious backgrounds into heaven, while others were banished elsewhere.

And come on, get serious -- by my mother's reasoning, God was only going to let into heaven those who were BORN into the "right" or "one true" religion? And what about free will? I could poke holes all damn day into this old-school way of thinking. (But I won't bore you...at least any more than I already have ;-)

Gimme a holy break.

Of COURSE you can shop around for whatever you want -- and if you don't find what you really want anywhere, you can go out and create it for yourself. Because there just might be others who want "in" too.

Churches are going out of business left and right around the world, and why do you think??!?

Here's a hint: it's not the economy. It's because people are sick and tired of being fed such lines of CRAP! As a collective, we are beginning to see that there is another way -- in fact, countless other ways! Alternatives abound!

A few years back, when I was first learning about personal responsibility, prosperity consciousness, and the spiritual laws of the Universe, I had a conversation with my friend Becky. Becky had just broken up with her boyfriend, and didn't want to go to her same church, because she wanted to find something new where she could start over.

Andy and I wanted to take our daughter to church (since she had started talking, it seemed like a good idea for her to belong to some kind of church community) but we were both dissatisfied with Catholic masses at my old childhood church.

I was toying with the idea of church shopping again (maybe I did believe my mother on some level, because even though I never got confirmed, I never did do any research about what else was out there...remember, this all pre-dates Google, where research used to be something HARD and TIME-CONSUMING).

And then Becky told me something surprising. She said, "Amy, you'll never find a church that believes everything you believe. You just gotta find a place where you feel comfortable and like the people."

Well, that didn't sit well with me at all. And I still wasn't buying that old line.

So I DID get on the internet and I DID start researching churches. And since I didn't know where to start, I started close to home, by searching for all churches within a 5-mile radius of our home (this was pre-Hurricane Katrina, so we were still in New Orleans).

And would you believe, lo and behold, the 2nd church I found was "the" church?!? Yes indeedy, they believed everything I believed, except for maybe 1 statement I didn't understand at the time.

(Incidentally, if you're wondering what ever happened to Becky....she met a Mormon guy, converted, and gave up everything she used to believe in, in order to adopt the Mormon belief system and way of life. I suspect she's popping out her ninth kid by now.)

After convincing my husband to try out this new non-denominational church with me, we were both pleasantly surprised. I started jokingly referring to it as "Self-esteem church" because it was amazing how GOOD I felt there, each time we went. The people were warm and friendly, and the meditations and songs were so right-on with what I was learning in my quest to understand Universal truths. And our daughter was absolutely thriving there.

It was only later that I found out that one of my favorite authors at the time (Catherine Ponder, author of "The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity" and dozens of other books) was actually a minister in this same church (not the one in New Orleans).

So what is my point, in this long and elaborate posting today?

My point is that it pays to consider what you believe. If I didn't know what I believed (or wasn't at least willing to explore it), then I'd probably still be sitting in a pew every Sunday, clock watching until Mass was finally over.

And if I believed what my mother and Becky told me, I definitely would NOT have found peace and freedom -- and true JOY -- in a church of any sort. And what else would I have given up on, if I thought I was just "born" into ...... (fill in the blank).

And consider this:

What are you SETTLING for in life?

For a long time, I was settling for Catholicism, even though I didn't resonate with it at all. For awhile because I was lazy, and for awhile because I didn't really know where to look or what else was out there.

Right now, are you settling for unsatisfying relationships? a career? job? lack of excess money?

For sure if you're watching the news, you're settling for substandard programming. (but don't get me started on that!)

And what would happen if you STOPPED settling and started shopping for what you really want, knowing it's out there somewhere?

Hmmmm, now THAT's a delicious question worth answering!