It's Not About Negotiation

Awhile back, I wrote a blog post that many people have referenced (including me). In this post, I explained how to conduct negotiations with your ego in order to get it to do what you want.

But alas, I have evolved yet again.

During a private client session a couple of weeks ago, I realized that the information I put into that blog post no longer applies.

See, once we stop looking at our ego as a force to be reckoned with...or a contrarian who's constantly tripping us up...then we can begin to see the truth.

That our ego is serving us perfectly, in every moment.

Our ego is keeping us safe and protected. And doing a damn near perfect job, without getting an ounce of appreciation or credit for it.

But the truth is that our EGO is a part of us -- a very vital, very beautiful, very important, very necessary part of us.

and when we can begin to embrace that -- to love that -- then we know we are on the path of true self-love.

So why would we negotiate with ourselves? Do you negotiate with your feet in order to walk across the room? Do you negotiate with your eyes to get them to close when it's time for bed? No, of course not.



You would only negotiate with someone that appeared to be separate from you. Who appeared to have an agenda that's very different from yours.

(Which may explain why some of us find ourselves negotiating with our stomachs or taste buds when we are trying to avoid certain foods!)

A united front doesn't require negotiation -- it requires partnership.

And partnership means aligning agenda and intentions for the highest possible good.

Your ego would surrender everything in order to fulfill its duty, which is to protect you and keep you safe. And it does that all day, every day, without a smidge of gratitude or appreciation from you.

In most cases, people are internally fighting with their ego.

But what if you took the perspective of unity?

What if you saw your ego as a vital and hardworking part of you?

And what if you realized that it really is a part of you -- and it's serving you perfectly in every moment?

And what if instead of negotiating, you focused on connecting with your ego?

And in connecting, you asked questions and you learned things. You learned about what's important to your ego, and what it stands for, and what it needs in order to feel safe and secure.

And from THAT perspective, you can create a Win-Win scenario. I personally am a HUGE fan of those.

And as you build this partnership, keeping up your end of the bargain, your ego will learn to trust you, to let down its defenses, and to become more open to your suggestions (because it feels safe, and doesn't feel as though it has to fight against you in order to keep you safe).

This is the new evolution.

Welcome! And oh what fun we shall all have playing together!