Me! Me! I Need Attention! Look at Me!

I had an interesting conversation with someone the other day about fame, recognition, and praise.

We had very different perspectives on the subject.

She believes that it is never a good idea to do something for recognition. (In her opinion) if your ultimate goal is fame or accolades, you are on the road to ruin. She believes that the only way to truly gain success is through serving. If fame, recognition and kudos should come as a by-product of that, great.

I, on the other hand, think there is nothing wrong with wanting a little fame, so long as you understand the reasons behind your motivation to do so. Of course, I don't agree with seeking notoriety at any expense (including illegal, immoral, or unethical means). However, let's say your goal is to help people on a HUGE scale, I'm talking tons of people and in your mind, you'll know you've "arrived" when you appear on Oprah. What's wrong with wanting to appear on Oprah?

Well, it depends why you want to be on Oprah. If you've got a "I'll show them" attitude towards past relationships or you want to be able to brag at your next high school reunion, that indicates some insecurity on your part. You're seeking external praise when what you really want is something that must come from within. If you want the free publicity that comes with being on Oprah, well there's nothing wrong with that, especially if your main motivation is to help people.

It comes back to that same question I'm always asking people: what do you really want?

One of the ways you can get to bottom of that question is to ask "Why" at least seven times.

For example, let's say you want a new car. More specifically, you want one of those hot new Mustangs. Yowsa. That's great that you want the car, and if you truly desire it, you shoudl have it. But to find out what you REALLY want (in other words, what hte car represents to you), you simply keep asking yoruself why, and the conversation may go likt this:

Why do you want the new car?
Because I love the way that car looks.

Why is that important?
Because I've never had a new sports car before.

Why do you want a new sports car?
Because I work really hard and I deserve something nice.

Why do you want the car in exchange for working hard?
Because I deserve a reward for everything I do.

Why do you want a reward?
Because no one appreciates what I do.

Why is being appreciated important to you?
Because I feel taken for granted.

Ahhhh, now we're getting somewhere. And it only took 6 why's. Now you can see that (if this were your scenario) that what you really want is to be appreciated. After you do this exercise, you may no longer feel excited about the thing you thought you wanted. But that's OK, becasue now that you've identified what you really want, you can find ways to get that instead of chasing otehr things. If you are still passionate about the car (or wahtever) after discovering your true motivation, by all means go for it!

So if it's fame, recognition and notoriety that you're seeking, just ask yourself WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY and see what you really want. The way you feel after dsicovering that will give you some indication as to why you want it and whether or not you should pursue it.

AT least, that's what I should have told my friend when we had this converstaion!

But I had to process it in my own way, and here we are with something worth sharing with you!

My question for you today is this:

Why do you want what you say you want? Why Why Why Why Why Why? Do you still want it? If so, go for it. If not, what DO you want?