Our Reasons Weaken Us

As you may know, I am in the middle of the Money Beyond Belief EFT tapping series by Dr. Joe Vitale and Brad Yates. In the recording I listened to yesterday, Brad said something that really made sense to me.

Have you ever experienced that moment when you you catch the line in a song, or a phrase uttered, or a quote from a book, and you get a moment of unmistakable clarity?

Well, this statement hit me like a lightning bolt.

Brad said "our reasons weaken us."

I was stunned. Actually, I had to stop the playback and think about that statement for a few minutes, to marvel at the truth within it.

Specifically, he was talking about refusing unhealthy food. That seems to come up a lot around this time of year. People are always pushing sweets on you, right? Oh, go on, one little cookie won't hurt. And we tend to succumb, we make the weakening choice, for any number of reasons.

Maybe we don't want to attract attention to the fact that we're on a diet.
Maybe we don't want to hurt the feelings of hte person who baked it.
Maybe we don't know how to say no politely.
Maybe we want to fit in.
Who knows? Any number of reasons can justify a weakening moment.

Brad went on to say that when we DO insist on saying no, we usually feel like we have to give a reason.

No thank you, I'm dieting.
No thanks, I'm diabetic.
No thanks, I'm trying to cut back on sweets.
No thanks, I just ate.
No thanks, I'm full.
No thanks, it's not on my eating plan.
No thnaks, I'm trying to fit into a dress for New Year's.
Etc.

His point was that our reasons are totally unncessary. Yet we feel we have to give a reason, we have to explain our point of view, or our reasons for making the choices we make.

I agree, that is pretty disempowering.

I've witnessed this myself. What I mean is, I've tried it both ways: If I refuse something that's offered (sweets or otherwise) with a reason...that typically only opens the door to a conversation whwere I feel I must create more reasons and justifications.

For example:
No thanks, I'm on a diet.
(other person:) Oh, really? What diet? Yeah, I tried that one and it didn't work for me.
Now I'm in a position where I feel like I have to justify why I like this particular eating plan.

Really, who wants to talk about diets when there are so many tempting foods lying around???

On the other hand, I've done it this way too:

No, thanks.
(other person:) Really? Are you sure? They're really good.
I'm sure they are! But I'm fine, thank you.

Once or twice I may have gotten a peculiar look from the person, but it's only for a moment and then the conversation turns to more delightful topics.

And it is SO liberating not to have to explain yourself!

Right now, I am reading Power vs. Force and this same concept is prevalent thorughout the book. Power stands strong, confident in its choices and decisions, whereas Force feels like it has to justify, rationalize and "win over" the other person.

What a difference, eh? (Excuse the "eh" but after all, we DID just return from Canada, eh?)

When we give reasons for our actions, it weakens us because we are putting the power in someone else's hands. We are looking for acceptance when we rationalize.

Sure there are some times when you should provide reasons. For example, when you are asked why? you should typically give your reasons. The interesting thing is that most people are so wrapped up in themselves -- in their own reasons and justifications -- that they seldom ask another person "why?"

Maybe that's why I get such strange looks when I ask people "why" they think like they do. They're not accustomed to someone showing so much interest in them!

You will be asked WHY in certain circumstances: when you're on trial...when you're confronted about situations related to your job...when your spouse asks you why you did or said somehting, perhaps. But in routine, day-to-day conversations, people are entirely to self-involved to dig into your why.

So don't feel like you have to give a reason. Just make your choice, period.

And always look for the hidden option which allows you to choose NOT to participate:

Would you like chocolate or vanilla?

Neither for me, thank you.

Your question for today is this:
During the rest of today, can you make 3 choices and express these WITHOUT giving a reason for your choice?

Good luck...and let me know how it goes!