Long Time No See

I had an interesting experience today, and I'm wondering whether you have ever been through this.

There is a person in my life who is hard to be around. (Yes, I realize you probably have that too, but keep reading because I get a little more specific.)

This person is so hard to be around, and he complains so much about every little thing, that I have found myself not wanting to be aroudn him. In fact, I don't call or visit because I don't like the way I feel around him. But I love him, and he is a necessary part of my life, but I haven't really liked him in many, many years.

The person I'm talking about is my brother.

Today I called him because it's his birthday. It's nice to call someone you love on their birthday, right? So that's what I did. What happened totally shocked me.

He's like a different person.

He has changed a lot, and you know it's a major change when you can hear it in a person's voice. He has a certain spark, a certain sound of hope that I haven't heard in a long time. He mentioned my upcoming move to Colorado (leave it to Mom to spread that news for me) adn he even commenbted that he has always wanted to visit colorado. I happily extended an invitation and mentioned the spacious guest suite we'll have in our new home. He perked up even more and mentiond that they may come for a visit.

Then I talked to his wife (my sister-in-law) and we had a great conversation. Because he was different, she was different too. I think we were all on the phone for nearly an hour, which is probably a record between us.

The itneresting part is what I realized about the encounter.

What if I had remained convinced that he was the same person, and instead of calling him on his b-day, decided "why bother?"

What if I had refused to see him as he now is, and remained stuck in my old perception of what he's like?

What if he hadn't changed?

Did I change? Were any of these observed changes due to the fact that perhaps I've grown a bit since our last conversation (which was probably last Christmas, to thank them for the gifts they sent).

I don't have all the answers (surprise!) but I'm sure glad I picked up the phone and called today. And something tells me I won't be waiting until Christmas to call again. Plus, I found out he's been talking to my brother almost daily since Hurricane Katrina struck. See, we really can find something good in the midst of something as terrible as this natural disaster.

My question for you today is this:

Who have you been avoiding calling, and are you willing to be open to the fact that this person may not be the same person you remember? Are you willing to create a space for the possibility of a differnt relationship with this person? Will you call them today?