Friendshift, You Say?

I recently coined the word "Friendshift."

What is friendshift, you say?

I'm so glad you asked.

Friend-shift is what happens when your friend-ships, well, shift. As the EFT practitioners are fond of saying, "Shift Happens." Anything that doesn't grow will die, so shift is a wonderful thing when you consider the alternative.

You may have noticed that throughout your life, friends have come and gone. Sometimes you lose touch with someone because you move away (or they do). Perhaps you had a good buddy at work, but either your or the buddy no longer works there, and work may have been what bonded you together. Maybe it's a hobby that you no longer have, or a habit you no longer indulge. Whatever it may be, without the common denominator, the friendship may dissolve completely.

The same phenomenon can occur with divorces. The awkwardness of feeling like you have to take sides, or choose one friend, or not invite both former partners to outings or parties...you know what I'm talking about here.

In my own life, I've seen couples that we were friends with -- not so much as individuals, but as a couple...and when teh marriage dissolves, it seems we really don't have much in common with one person or the other. So the friendship (you guessed it) shifts.

You may have a buddy from "the good ol' days" and it seems one of you has moved on to bigger and better things, and one of you is still trying to create the good ol days. That can really cause two people to drift apart, and have nothing in common going forward.

Perhaps your old buddy has taken on a new, destructive lifestyle, that you simply can't bear to watch (or encourage).

Sometimes, your relationships don't dissolve completely, but they shift into something more, or something less.

Understand that, regardless of the reason or the type of friendshift, this is really neither a "good" or a "bad" thing. It just is what it is.

I once heard that friends come into our lives in a certain time, in a certain way, because there is something both parties need from the relationship. Once that need is met (or dissipated), the relationship has served its purpose and usually dissolves. Perhaps neither person could grow if the stagnant relationship continued. Who can say?

But it can be sad to say good-bye to a friend who is no longer needed...or who no longer needs you.

However, it is importnat to realize that when one friend disappears from your life, it leaves room for another.

Perhaps there is someone you lost touch with years ago, and your paths may cross unexpectedly. You may find that although your lives have gone in completely different direcitons (or not) that you still share a tremendous amount in common. This leaves room for the old friendship to develop into a new friendship (friendshift).

Don't be surprised if you find yourself wondering "what ever happened to..." and lo and behold, you find a surprise email from them, or a Christmas card, or a phone message.

And don't be afraid to look up an old buddy to see how their lives have changed since you parted...and share your new experiences as well. On the flip side, don't be afraid to end a friendship that needs to be ended. Don't let social graces or long-standing relationships stand in the way of personal progress (yours or theirs). If the relationship isn't serving either of you, it's time for a friendshift.

Authentic conversations can open the door for current friendships to friendshift to a new, more intimate level. Supporting and challenging each other to strive harder, to reach higher and to become more amazing individuals.

Your question today:
What friendship deserves a friendshift in your life? ARe you willing to make that difficult phone call or schedule that tough meeting with them today? What's holding you back? Will either of you grow to your fullest potential if you DON'T make a move?