An Interesting Success Article

Here is an article I wrote for the More Heart Than Talent newsletter (for Jeff & Erica Combs at goldenmastermind.com) It will appear in the September/October issue coming soon.

Here is a sneak peek for my blog fans. May you find it as interesting an enlightening as I did.

Enjoy!

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You’re Not Wearing THAT, Are You?
By Amy Scott Grant

Today I had an extraordinary experience. I was meeting some old friends for High Tea and during the course of the morning, each one of these women called to ask me what I was planning to wear. As I hung up with the sixth and final caller, it suddenly occurred to me that I was the only person in the group who hadn’t asked anyone else’s opinion before choosing an outfit. I also realized that up until recently, I would have been one of the girls calling other people to find out what to wear. As silly as it sounds, I am proud of the fact that my tremendous personal growth has empowered me to dress myself.

However, the incident raised a question in my mind: why do women do this?

Some may argue it’s a waste of time to understand why women do what we do, but my curiosity was piqued and I was determined to find an answer. Unfortunately, asking the question “why” typically raises more questions. Why do women base such a simple decision on other people’s opinions? Can we truly be that insecure? Are we completely unable to make a decision on our own? Are we so desperate to fit in with the crowd that we worry about looking too nice, or not nice enough? What does that say about our self-esteem?

When we ask for advice on what to wear, we’re really saying, “Please tell me what to wear because I am not capable of making this decision by myself. I lack the self-esteem to choose an outfit that makes me feel good, because it might not coordinate with those around me. Please ignore the fact that I am special and unique; I just want to look like I belong here.”

Ouch. If you’re thinking that sounds harsh, you’re not alone. But if you’ve never even questioned why you ask other people what they’ll wear, maybe it’s time you got a wakeup call. If certain feelings surface as you read this, you have the opportunity to learn about yourself right now by evaluating your reaction. You may be angry if you’re feel you’re being attacked or judged. Perhaps you feel hurt because my comments struck a chord of truth. Maybe you feel weak, as though you are doomed to carry out a life sentence of asking others’ opinions so you can follow the path of least resistance.

Yes, the truth may hurt, but it can also set you free. Think about the ridiculousness of the situation. What if no one could decide what to wear? Would everyone stay home? Would we all go naked? Would we be shamefully banned from fine establishments as punishment for our personal choice to wear diamond-studded heels or shabby flip flops?

Consider this: everyone around you is searching for someone else to tell them who to be. This is why people in our society crave leadership. At some point or another, we’ve all played the game called “Where do you want to eat?” “I don’t know, where do you want to eat?” I’ve even been known to ask a waiter whether I should order the shrimp or the chicken. How in the world would the waiter know what I want to eat? He doesn’t even know my name!

Calculate how much time you whittle away each day worrying about what other people think of you. How much time have you squandered during your life, asking everyone around you who you should be, what you should do and where you should go?

When will you stop collecting opinions and start being you?

At some point, you must decide enough is enough. If you can’t dress yourself without taking a poll, how will you be able to write a book, start a business, or be the leader that people are looking for? The truth is that you can do all of those things and more. Right now, you are capable of magnificent feats without asking everyone’s opinion. In fact, you’ll probably get more accomplished in less time by ignoring opinions and taking more action. Who better than you could decide what’s best for you?

Today, you can decide to start being YOU. Simply realize and accept the fact that you are a powerful, talented leader who is capable of amazing things. Now be that shining superstar.

And wear whatever you want.