Sh*t Happens, or How I Killed the Poo Parties

Today my 2 year old had her second poo party in 2 days. At the end of a nap (and pretty quietly, I might add), she pulled off her pants and diaper and smeared her poop all over her crib. Daddy was fit to be tied, since this was the second (and final) straw! I was a little frustrated, but hey. I figure when you have a toddler, Shit Happens.

As I put her in a bath and started washing her, I recalled a true story I heard long ago...before I ever dreamed of having kids.

A single mom with 2 kids battled a daily struggle to get out of the house on time each weekday. Apparently, her young son decided it wasn't an exciting enough challenge so he added a little flair. Just before it was time to leave, he'd pull off his poopy diaper and smear it all over the wall and himself.

Mom didn't spank him or even get mad. She just got a bit frazzled and frustrated (and wound up late) because she'd put him in a bath and clean him up, then go tidy up the stinky mess.

After several days of this, her job was on the line.

Her boss called her into his office to see what the heck was going on. This was a great employee, but all of a sudden, she was constantly late to work. What gives?

She relayed the story to him, ending with an exasperated "I just don't know what to do!"

As is often the case with an outside (fresh) perspective, he could see straight to the heart of the matter since he wasn't the one washing shit off the walls every day.

"Ah, I see," said her boss. "So every time he smears poop everywhere, he is rewarded with a nice warm bath and a half hour of mom's undivided attention."

Suddenly, the mom got quiet. A light bulb went on in her head, and the answer became crystal clear. And after implementing the remedy, it NEVER happened again.

Have you guessed what will happen to my little angel if indeed there is a "next time"?

Yep. No bath. No toys. Cold running water and a soapy washcloth so she can wipe most of the poo off herself. Oh yeah, that'll do it.

So what exactly does this have to do with success?

Several things, actually.

1. First, successful people are not afraid to ask for HELP. Why did she keep doing the same thing every day instead of asking someone for advice? There's no need to go it alone. In fact, I called a friend of mine who went through the same thing about a year ago with her little girl. Got a great tip about implementing a reward system called a "big girl board." Bought some mini posterboard and stickers tonight, and my toddler is already excited about the idea.

2. Next, successful people are caring. They ask questions instead of jumping to conclusions. A lot of managers might have just written up the employee or put her on a warning without ever bothering to find out what the heck was going on. He took the time to listen, and was actually able to contribute to teh solution as a result. Problem solved. Employee happy. Employee on time. Management happy. Everyone wins because he took a few extra minutes to care.

3. Finally, successful people look for answers everywhere. Successful people know they have access to everything they need, literally at their fingertips. All it takes is a little thought. Today, as I was bathing my daughter (in the nice warm bath, I might add), I shifted my thinking from "this sucks" to "I wonder how I can put a stop to this without spanking her?" It was that shift in consciousness that opened the way for a solution to arrive. And lo and behold, here comes a cute anecdote I had heard about 7 years prior that I didn't think I'd ever have a personal use for. Beautiful.

So your QoD is this:

When a problem arises, do you shift into solution mode or you do stay stuck in "there's something wrong here"? Are you willing to begin to practice asking "What can I do next?" or would you rather keep focusing on what's not working?