Redefining Christmas

I wasn't really expecting this, but I'm delighted that it happened.

Something significant shifted for me after I created the "Relax Your Holiday Spending" Audio (remember my 4-hour fire sale? If you missed it, go sign up for my newsletter at http://newsuccess.org The audio is no longer available for sale, but at least you'll be in the loop when I do my next ridiculously inexpensive product sale...which I suspect could be any day now...).



I mean, I probably COULD have expected it...it's rare that I would create a clearing for a client or even a whole group without getting some kind of benefit myself, but I had no idea the shift would be THIS profound.

What I noticed is that IN THE PAST,

+ I would attempt to "improve upon" the prior year's holiday experience.

In other words, I looked at what didn't seem to work or what I didn't like, and I created a better or more efficient or more fun way to do it. For example: if one year I waited until the last minute to purchase gifts and found that it was stressful, expensive and not as impactful on the recipients, then the NEXT year I started very early and handmade all my gifts. But then if I found that that was too time-consuming and not really a good match for everything, then the following year I might have ordered every gift online and had it shipped. But then a couple of them had problems (backordered, delayed because of weather, etc) so I found a different solution for the following year. It was more of a process improvement deal rather than a Divine kind of experience.



+ No matter what I did, I was always stressed during the holidays. Even if I finished up early, I was stressing over shipping packages, baking, people I forgot to buy for, my husband's last-minute gift-giving needs, or Christmas dinner.

+ I spent way too much time in the stores (or online), and I was always aggravated when I did. Not to mention, feeling like I was missing out on time I could have spent with my family.

+ I went a little crazy with my own kids. Last year, I can specifically recall feeling like I was out of control, adding this or that or the other thing, even though in reality, they had PLENTY. It was almost compulsive, and when Christmas morning came, there were TOO many gifts -- special things sort of got overlooked or lost in the shuffle by the time you figured in Santa presents, gifts from Mom & Dad and gifts from all the extended family.




+ I always experienced a "let-down" by the end of Christmas day. Like when you look forward to something for sooooooo long and then it's done and it wasn't quite what you expected. So now you no longer have the excitement of something to look forward to, plus you're left with the disappointment of unfulfilled expectations.

+ Family time (outside of my husband and kids) always seemed like a chore. Again, something I looked forward to, until it was actually there. Then when it was, I felt bored, uncomfortable, and like an outsider in my own family. Can you relate to this at all?

So this year, I decided it's high time I "redefined" Christmas.

After all, it's my life -- I can create whatever I choose. And I've redefined what it means to work, earn money, help people, be a mom, and have fun...so why wouldn't I be able to redefine Christmas? Especially if it's not working.

And this is what I discovered:

1. Christmas is about love. Period, end of sentence. It's not about presents, shopping, stress, parties, or mailing cards. Without love, all of those things become empty and meaningless, which means a letdown is imminent.



2. I love love. I do! Valentine's Day has always been my favorite holiday, because I just adore everything about love. And when I consciously incorporate love into everything I CHOOSE to do around Christmas, I can't go wrong. This was something we talked about in the Relax Your Holiday Spending audio...Presents get more thoughtful...shopping becomes pleasant and EASY -- no matter what the mall looks like this time of year...new traditions get created, memories are made, budgets are met easily, and a deep sense of overall SATISFACTION is present.

3. It's easy to enjoy family time when love is present. My mother was her for a week over Thanksgiving and you know that old saying about fish and house guests? How they get old and tired after 3 days? Well, it certainly didn't apply this time around. We had a grand time, Mom had a blast, and the kids were crying when it was time for her to leave. She easily could have stayed another week and it would have been fine with me and my family! And it was more than just tolerable -- it was actually enjoyable, fun, joyous and meaningful. Love makes all the difference.

4. Nothing is "required" unless I decide it is. I recently got totally activated by an innocuous comment from one of my neighbors who asked what I was getting my daughter for her "big present" for Christmas. No kidding, I stewed about it for 2 days. Crazy, right?!?! But I was so steamed I couldn't see what needed to be cleared or released...then when I finally did, I got off it almost immediately. What got me activated was that I felt like I "had to" do certain things around Christmas: buy the girls new dresses, take pictures of them on Santa's lap at the mall, bake cookies, buy them a TON of presents, and give them one "BIG" expensive present. But I stopped steaming when I realized that was someone else's "rules" about Christmas and they don't fit me, so I don't have to follow those rules! My daughter was something in particular that she's been talking about for months now -- and it costs a whopping $17 at Wal-Mart. If I give her some $200 gift as her "big present" it will hardly get noticed once she opens the Hannah Montana guitar she's been mooning over. (Which I find hilarious seeing as she has never SEEN and Hannah Montana shows or movies! But that's another topic for another day).



5. I get to choose the Christmas I want to have, free from the confines of the past, or the expectations of others. This one is so profound to me. I didn't spend hours shopping for Christmas dresses for my girls (which I hate doing anyway). I merely set the intention ("I would love to find beautiful dresses for my girls, swiftly and easily") and guess what happened? My mom showed up with a surprise: a gorgeous Christmas dress for each of my girls! And their faces lit up when they saw them -- each girl LOVED her dress! So I did zero shopping and everybody won. How cool is that? And we didn't stand in line for hours to take pix with Santa at the mall. I evaluated whether or not I really wanted pix with Santa this year, and when I decided I did, we found out our favorite photo studio was holding limited studio time with Santa. Hooray!!! No lines, no mall crowds, and no boring, over-priced, cookie-cutter Santa pix with fake beard in tow. Have a look at my favorite one from the photo shoot:



Now THAT is what I'm talking about! It's not cookie-cutter at all -- it's US!

So I invite you to create your own epiphanies around Christmas.

Forget what others saying Christmas is all about -- you define it for your SELF and watch what happens this year. Take a few minutes today to ask yourself: what does Christmas really mean to me? And then create THAT this year

And remember -- I love you. Because for me, it's what Christmas is really about.