The Truth About "Churches"

It must be really confusing to be a kid.

Looking back, I can see with perfect clarity some of mixed messages I received while growing up.

My dad used to always tell me, "You can do anything you set your mind to." But my mother was always telling me what I could and couldn't do.

He also used to say, "Find a way to make money doing something you love, and you'll never 'work' another day in your life." But I always wondered why he chose a career he clearly didn't love, and didn't make much money at anyway.

I'm sure I'm not the only kid who feels that kind of confusion -- what's really true? I remember challenging my dad once...I was whining about something I couldn't do, and he pulled his classic "you can do anything" line on me.

And I can remember the face I made -- skeptical, scrutinizing, a face that said "Yeah right. Prove it."

And I said, "That's not true. I can't be President of the United States" (because...at least back then...kids like me didn't know what a dull-ass job that must really be.)

Dad replied, "Of course you can. You can do ANYTHING you put your mind to."

I said, "Yeah, but there's never been a woman president."

My dad said, "So?"

And I walked away from that conversation even more confused than when it started.

But that particular conversation is not what I'm writing about today. I'm thinking of another conversation from childhood -- this time with my mother.

In eighth grade, I had decided I didn't want to be confirmed. Confirmation was a big deal, everyone was talking about parties, receptions and new dresses. Seemed like much ado about nothing to me, so I opted out.

My mother was furious. She insisted that I just wanted to be "different," to "stand out" (as if that were a crime). I told her I was listening when the teachers at my Catholic school were talking, and I wasn't sure that at age 13, I was ready to make any life-long commitment kind of decisions. Besides, I wasn't so sure Catholicism was the way I wanted to go.

And then SHE said (in an exasperated tone):

"Amy, you can't just shop around for a religion! You're born into whatever you are, and that's that."

Since she couldn't actually MAKE me get confirmed, I did in fact opt out. And instead, I hung out with the 2 protestant kids who weren't being confirmed either.

But I never believed her about not being able to shop around. Why the hell couldn't I? I mean, wasn't it bad enough that I had been born into a poor family? I sure as hell knew I didn't have to stay poor my whole life, so why did I have to be stuck with being Catholic forever?

Plus, it didn't seem to me that God really gave a crap one way or another, so long as you kept in communication with him. I had a hard time believing God would let certain religious backgrounds into heaven, while others were banished elsewhere.

And come on, get serious -- by my mother's reasoning, God was only going to let into heaven those who were BORN into the "right" or "one true" religion? And what about free will? I could poke holes all damn day into this old-school way of thinking. (But I won't bore you...at least any more than I already have ;-)

Gimme a holy break.

Of COURSE you can shop around for whatever you want -- and if you don't find what you really want anywhere, you can go out and create it for yourself. Because there just might be others who want "in" too.

Churches are going out of business left and right around the world, and why do you think??!?

Here's a hint: it's not the economy. It's because people are sick and tired of being fed such lines of CRAP! As a collective, we are beginning to see that there is another way -- in fact, countless other ways! Alternatives abound!

A few years back, when I was first learning about personal responsibility, prosperity consciousness, and the spiritual laws of the Universe, I had a conversation with my friend Becky. Becky had just broken up with her boyfriend, and didn't want to go to her same church, because she wanted to find something new where she could start over.

Andy and I wanted to take our daughter to church (since she had started talking, it seemed like a good idea for her to belong to some kind of church community) but we were both dissatisfied with Catholic masses at my old childhood church.

I was toying with the idea of church shopping again (maybe I did believe my mother on some level, because even though I never got confirmed, I never did do any research about what else was out there...remember, this all pre-dates Google, where research used to be something HARD and TIME-CONSUMING).

And then Becky told me something surprising. She said, "Amy, you'll never find a church that believes everything you believe. You just gotta find a place where you feel comfortable and like the people."

Well, that didn't sit well with me at all. And I still wasn't buying that old line.

So I DID get on the internet and I DID start researching churches. And since I didn't know where to start, I started close to home, by searching for all churches within a 5-mile radius of our home (this was pre-Hurricane Katrina, so we were still in New Orleans).

And would you believe, lo and behold, the 2nd church I found was "the" church?!? Yes indeedy, they believed everything I believed, except for maybe 1 statement I didn't understand at the time.

(Incidentally, if you're wondering what ever happened to Becky....she met a Mormon guy, converted, and gave up everything she used to believe in, in order to adopt the Mormon belief system and way of life. I suspect she's popping out her ninth kid by now.)

After convincing my husband to try out this new non-denominational church with me, we were both pleasantly surprised. I started jokingly referring to it as "Self-esteem church" because it was amazing how GOOD I felt there, each time we went. The people were warm and friendly, and the meditations and songs were so right-on with what I was learning in my quest to understand Universal truths. And our daughter was absolutely thriving there.

It was only later that I found out that one of my favorite authors at the time (Catherine Ponder, author of "The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity" and dozens of other books) was actually a minister in this same church (not the one in New Orleans).

So what is my point, in this long and elaborate posting today?

My point is that it pays to consider what you believe. If I didn't know what I believed (or wasn't at least willing to explore it), then I'd probably still be sitting in a pew every Sunday, clock watching until Mass was finally over.

And if I believed what my mother and Becky told me, I definitely would NOT have found peace and freedom -- and true JOY -- in a church of any sort. And what else would I have given up on, if I thought I was just "born" into ...... (fill in the blank).

And consider this:

What are you SETTLING for in life?

For a long time, I was settling for Catholicism, even though I didn't resonate with it at all. For awhile because I was lazy, and for awhile because I didn't really know where to look or what else was out there.

Right now, are you settling for unsatisfying relationships? a career? job? lack of excess money?

For sure if you're watching the news, you're settling for substandard programming. (but don't get me started on that!)

And what would happen if you STOPPED settling and started shopping for what you really want, knowing it's out there somewhere?

Hmmmm, now THAT's a delicious question worth answering!

Lee Iacocca's State of the Union

Thanks to my friend Karen Vizer for sending me this moving and provocative excerpt today.

Remember Lee Iacocca, the man who rescued Chrysler Corporation from it's death throes? He's now 82 years old and has a new book, and here are some excerpts. Lee Iacocca says:




Am I the only guy in this country who's fed up with what's happening? Where the hell is our outrage? We should be screaming bloody murder. We've got a gang of clueless bozos steering our ship of state right over a cliff, we've got corporate gangsters stealing us blind, and we can't even clean up after a hurricane much less build a hybrid car. But instead of getting mad, everyone sits around and nods their heads when the politicians say, 'Stay the course'

Stay the course? You've got to be kidding. This is America, not the damned 'Titanic'. I'll give you a sound bite: 'Throw all the bums out!'

You might think I'm getting senile, that I've gone off my rocker, and maybe I have. But someone has to speak up. I hardly recognize this country anymore.

The most famous business leaders are not the innovators but the guys in handcuffs. While we're fiddling in Iraq, the Middle East is burning and nobody seems to know what to do. And the press is waving 'pom-poms' instead of asking hard questions. That's not the promise of the 'America' my parents and yours traveled across the ocean for. I've had enough. How about you?

I'll go a step further. You can't call yourself a patriot if you're not outraged. This is a fight I'm ready and willing to have. The Biggest 'C' is Crisis! (Iacocca elaborates on nine C's of leadership, crisis being the first.) Leaders are made, not born. Leadership is forged in times of crisis. It's easy to sit there with your feet up on the desk and talk theory. Or send someone else's kids off to war when you've never seen a battlefield yourself. It's another thing to lead when your world comes tumbling down.

On September 11, 2001, we needed a strong leader more than any other time in our history. We needed a steady hand to guide us out of the ashes. A Hell of a Mess. So here's where we stand. We're immersed in a bloody war with no plan for winning and no plan for leaving. We're running the biggest deficit in the history of the country. We're losing the manufacturing edge to Asia, while our once-great companies are getting slaughtered by health care costs. Gas prices are skyrocketing, and nobody in power has a coherent energy policy. Our schools are in trouble. Our borders are like sieves. The middle class is being squeezed every which way. These are times that cry out for leadership.

But when you look around, you've got to ask: 'Where have all the leaders gone?' Where are the curious, creative communicators? Where are the people of character, courage, conviction, omnipotence, and common sense? I may be a sucker for alliteration, but I think you get the point.

Name me a leader who has a better idea for homeland security than making us take off our shoes in airports and throw away our shampoo? We've spent billions of dollars building a huge new bureaucracy, and all we know how to do is react to things that have already happened.

Name me one leader who emerged from the crisis of Hurricane Katrina. Congress has yet to spend a single day evaluating the response to the hurricane, or demanding accountability for the decisions that were made in the crucial hours after the storm.

Everyone's hunkering down, fingers crossed, hoping it doesn't happen again. Now, that's just crazy. Storms happen. Deal with it. Make a plan. Figure out what you're going to do the next time.

Name me an industry leader who is thinking creatively about how we can restore our competitive edge in manufacturing. Who would have believed that there could ever be a time when 'The Big Three' referred to Japanese car companies? How did this happen, and more important, what are we going to do about it?

Name me a government leader who can articulate a plan for paying down the debt, or solving the energy crisis, or managing the health care problem. The silence is deafening. But these are the crisis that are eating away at our country and milking the middle class dry.

I have news for the gang in Congress. We didn't elect you to sit on your asses and do nothing and remain silent while our democracy is being hijacked and our greatness is being replaced with mediocrity. What is everybody so afraid of? That some bonehead on Fox News will call them a name? Give me a break. Why don't you guys show some spine for a change?

Had Enough? Hey, I'm not trying to be the voice of gloom and doom here. I'm trying to light a fire. I'm speaking out because I have hope. I believe in America. In my lifetime I've had the privilege of living through some of America's greatest moments. I've also experienced some of our worst crisis: the 'Great Depression,' 'World War II,' the 'Korean War,' the 'Kennedy Assassination,' the 'Vietnam War,' the 1970's oil crisis, and the struggles of recent years culminating with 9/11. If I've learned one thing, it's this: You don't get anywhere by standing on the sidelines waiting for somebody else to take action. Whether it's 0building a better car or building a better future for our children, we all have a role to play. That's the challenge I'm raising in this book. It's a call to 'Action' for people who, like me, believe in America. It's not too late, but it's getting pretty close. So let's shake off the crap and go to work. Let's tell 'em all we've had 'enough.'

Well put, Lee. I for one am taking on recycling as a new pet project.

Call me an idiot, but I had no idea it takes such ridiculous amounts of petroleum to make water bottles and plastic grocery bags. And I didn't know that only 20% of all water bottles are being recycled. Hello?!?! Twenty percent? That's shameful.

At the rate we're going, my grandkids are going to have to be like that guy in Mexico who built his own island out of water bottles -- otherwise they won't have any place to live that isn't next to (or on top of) a land fill. But more about that in a later post.

For now -- what if we all did ONE THING today -- took just ONE positive action today, to make a difference in our world. Plant a tree. Recycle. Write a letter to your Congressman. Start that book you've been procrastinating over. Call your mother. Do it now.

Now is the time to act. Go for it.

Playing to Win vs. Not to Lose

Tonight my husband Andy and I were playing a new card game that Francois and I invented fluently. It's called RockIt to Destiny, and it's kick-ass fun. (We're currently polishing the final rules with experimental play -- as soon as the game is completed, I'll explain how to play in a separate post.)

Suffice to say it's a mind-sharpening game. You've got to get skilled at looking for every possible angle in order to win with any kind of consistency. And missing a possible move may cost you the game.

The object of RockIt is to get rid of all your cards. If you don't have a move to play, you draw a card (there are no discards, so the only way to get rid of your cards, i.e., WIN, is to make valid tricks or plays).

In this particular round between Andy and me, I was holding 3 cards and Andy was holding at least 30 cards. (We call that a "carpal tunnel" hand because it gives you a serious hand cramp to try and hold that many cards fanned out so you can see them all without flashing your cards to your opponents).

I had just drawn the card that made it possible for me to go out (i.e., win the game). And Andy, bless his heart, is a slow and methodical player on a good day, and even slower when he's got a carpal tunnel hand.

So after he laid down 2 tricks, I was getting a little bored with waiting, and I figured I had already won the game as soon as he declared his turn to be over, so I said:

"Just so you know, I'm 'out' on my next turn."

Well, this did NOT have the desired effect that I had intended. Instead of Andy surrendering (we were both tired, and ready to call it quits for the night, so I figured he'd happily give in) he became more determined than ever.

Over the next 20 minutes or so, I passed the time while waiting for him. I had a little lie down, played with Sydney (our baby) and then put her to bed, and contemplated going upstairs to take off my makeup and get my jammies on, when I realized Andy was down to about 3 cards. And judging by the look on his face, he was going to find a way to win this game, no matter what.

I watched him play those last 3 cards and it was truly a sight to behold. No longer was I pissed that I had opened my big fat mouth and gave him the impetus to win -- I was filled with awe because I suddenly realized I was witnessing a true life lesson.

It took him a few more minutes, but finally he triumphantly declared, "I'm out!"

I looked at him and smiled. He beamed back at me, and he certainly had every right to be proud -- he had accomplished a virtually impossible feat.

And I looked at him and I said:

"Honey, I am SO proud of you. You had something like 30 cards in your hand, and you went out in a single turn! That's amazing."

and he said, "I know" (still smiling)

and then I said (because if you know me, you know that who I am is a coach -- it's in my bones, and there's just no stopping it) this:

"I'm really clear that you would NOT have gone out, if I hadn't told you I was going out on my next turn."

He agreed.

I continued, "It's like knowing this was do or die was what gave you the determination to succeed."

He agreed.

And now for the zinger. I said:

"What do you think your life would look like if you played life like that, all the time? As though every move was THE determining move?"

And he got it immediately. I mean, he really got it. He said,

"I've been playing NOT to lose, instead of playing to win."

And we both sat dumbstruck for a moment, awed by this profound life lesson disguised as a simple card game victory.

Now I would ask you the same question:

Can you see where in YOUR life you've been playing not to lose instead of playing to win? What kind of difference would it make if you started playing full out, playing to WIN every opportunity life gives you?

When you play life this way, everyone wins.

So what are you waiting for? Get out there and start playing to win. I know that's exactly what Andy and I will be doing from now on. How 'bout you?

Now Is the Time to Act

I am receiving an insistent request to post something right now, and to be completely honest, I have no idea what I'm about to write. So I'll just let 'er rip, and we'll see what comes out, ok? Here goes, a message from beyond:


Now is the time to act.

Stop walking around, pretending that you have all the time in the world to get around to the business you came here to take care of.

You don't. Your time is running out.

And now is the absolute optimal time to get started and get busy.

If you think you don't know what you came here to do, please be advised that this particular delay tactic is wearing thin.

You know why you're here, and you know what you came to do. So get busy doing it.

There will never be a more perfect time than right now -- if you've been waiting for the stars to align, NEWSFLASH: They are perfectly aligned and NOW is the time to act.

If you have searched your soul and you honestly don't know where to begin, ask Amy for assistance. Get a coach, get guidance, and most importantly, get moving.

The time is ripe for transformation. Whatever you came here to do: teach, heal, demonstrate -- it's time to begin now.

And if you've already begun and you think you're rolling along at breakneck pace, you're missing something. Because you ain't even started yet!

We look forward to seeing you in action.

Love,
The Universal Beings Who Accompany You At All Times

--end of message--

Amy Scott Grant in the News

Recently an article ran in the Castle Rock News Press - here is a copy of it (click on the article to enlarge it):