On the Road Again....

Tomorrow we are headed to Houston for a family wedding. Lots of travel coming up in the next 30 days, then a short break (probably a month) before we hit it again.

I have to say, that is truly the beauty of a portable business (or Portable Empire, as my coach Pat O'Bryan likes to call it). Have laptop, will travel. What? Your hotel has no wireless internet? Sorry, I'll have to pass.

Partnership is still the name of the game these days...I'm in the process of setting up 3 more joint ventures. Interestingly enough, my goal was just to do 1 this week. Apparently, I am on fire!

Speaking of fire, I am looking forward to an upcoming event where I'll get to meet another mentor of mine, Dr. Joe Vitale, a.k.a. Mr. Fire.

Yessireee, things are really cookin' here. So what's new with you? Yes, I realize this post is a bit rambly, but that's just the space I'm in today. A little scattered, a little excited, a little wired from all the packing. A little happy because Courtney got voted off Survivor tonight. YEAH! She was workin' on my last nerve anyway, plus a part of me would just loooooooooove to see Cerie walk away with the million bucks. How's THAT for a twist, Mr. Burnett? No, I don't normally watch tv but I am absolutely hooked on Survivor.

Which brings me to an awkward segue into the QoD:

What are you up to these days? I mean, really? Are you playing full-out, living a grand life and making it happen? Or are you settling for "good enough"? If not now, when? If you think this is a bad time, TRUST ME, it can always get worse. But then again, YOU can make it get better. Which will you choose?

Sh*t Happens, or How I Killed the Poo Parties

Today my 2 year old had her second poo party in 2 days. At the end of a nap (and pretty quietly, I might add), she pulled off her pants and diaper and smeared her poop all over her crib. Daddy was fit to be tied, since this was the second (and final) straw! I was a little frustrated, but hey. I figure when you have a toddler, Shit Happens.

As I put her in a bath and started washing her, I recalled a true story I heard long ago...before I ever dreamed of having kids.

A single mom with 2 kids battled a daily struggle to get out of the house on time each weekday. Apparently, her young son decided it wasn't an exciting enough challenge so he added a little flair. Just before it was time to leave, he'd pull off his poopy diaper and smear it all over the wall and himself.

Mom didn't spank him or even get mad. She just got a bit frazzled and frustrated (and wound up late) because she'd put him in a bath and clean him up, then go tidy up the stinky mess.

After several days of this, her job was on the line.

Her boss called her into his office to see what the heck was going on. This was a great employee, but all of a sudden, she was constantly late to work. What gives?

She relayed the story to him, ending with an exasperated "I just don't know what to do!"

As is often the case with an outside (fresh) perspective, he could see straight to the heart of the matter since he wasn't the one washing shit off the walls every day.

"Ah, I see," said her boss. "So every time he smears poop everywhere, he is rewarded with a nice warm bath and a half hour of mom's undivided attention."

Suddenly, the mom got quiet. A light bulb went on in her head, and the answer became crystal clear. And after implementing the remedy, it NEVER happened again.

Have you guessed what will happen to my little angel if indeed there is a "next time"?

Yep. No bath. No toys. Cold running water and a soapy washcloth so she can wipe most of the poo off herself. Oh yeah, that'll do it.

So what exactly does this have to do with success?

Several things, actually.

1. First, successful people are not afraid to ask for HELP. Why did she keep doing the same thing every day instead of asking someone for advice? There's no need to go it alone. In fact, I called a friend of mine who went through the same thing about a year ago with her little girl. Got a great tip about implementing a reward system called a "big girl board." Bought some mini posterboard and stickers tonight, and my toddler is already excited about the idea.

2. Next, successful people are caring. They ask questions instead of jumping to conclusions. A lot of managers might have just written up the employee or put her on a warning without ever bothering to find out what the heck was going on. He took the time to listen, and was actually able to contribute to teh solution as a result. Problem solved. Employee happy. Employee on time. Management happy. Everyone wins because he took a few extra minutes to care.

3. Finally, successful people look for answers everywhere. Successful people know they have access to everything they need, literally at their fingertips. All it takes is a little thought. Today, as I was bathing my daughter (in the nice warm bath, I might add), I shifted my thinking from "this sucks" to "I wonder how I can put a stop to this without spanking her?" It was that shift in consciousness that opened the way for a solution to arrive. And lo and behold, here comes a cute anecdote I had heard about 7 years prior that I didn't think I'd ever have a personal use for. Beautiful.

So your QoD is this:

When a problem arises, do you shift into solution mode or you do stay stuck in "there's something wrong here"? Are you willing to begin to practice asking "What can I do next?" or would you rather keep focusing on what's not working?

How YOU (Yes, YOU) Can Give Up the Victim Role

Yesterday we talked about Abolishing the Victim Mentality, and I promised to take some space today to share how exactly you can do that.

Here are 4 simple steps to Abolish the Victim in YOU:

1. Recognize where in your life you're playing the victim.

What areas of your life (or people around you) do you complain about constantly? Where are you just miserable? Where in your life are you blaming other people or circumstances instead of taking personal responsibility for the choices you've made?

2. Realize you have a choice.

When you get that you're the one responsible (Who's the one person who's always at the scene of hte crime? Yep, it's YOU.) you also get a certain freedom in knowing that if you made this part of your life so crappy, you also are the one who made other parts so wonderful. You have a choice in everything...just understanding that and knowing that you are truly NEVER stuck can be a very freeing experience. If you think you're stuck in a dead-end job, you ARE...but only until you realize you're not. Remember, you are hte one in control. Whenever you refuse to see that, you are right back in victim mode.

3. Make a list of all the actions you CAN take, right now.

Forget about "someday" and "when this happens..." and "when my boss finally..." and think about what YOU personally can do RIGHT NOW to change your situation. And stop thinking about how hopeless it all is. There is always a way -- always SOMETHING you can do right now. It might not be pleasant, it might not be enjoyable, but if you start thinking about what you can do, you shift your entire consciousness to what's possible instead of what sucks. If you can't think of absolutely anything (or even if you can), do yourself a favor and go here and pick up a copy of my Success Method ebook. It's packed with ideas and it'll certainly get you off your duff and moving forward.

4. TAKE ACTION.

Pick one item on the list and just do it. Ignore the voice in your head that says "this will never work" or "I alrady tried this in the past and it didn't work" or "what's the point" or whatever it's saying to keep you stuck. Just push through it and watch what happens. Unforutnately, this is hte step where most people just flake out. Their old way of thinking gets the bettter of them and as a result, they remain stuck in victim mode.

CONGRATULATIONS! You now know the 4 steps required to get yourself out of victim mode. Now you can stop whining and start living your life. You get to tbe one in control and you get to call the shots.

And here's your question of the day:
Are you really going to follow the 4 steps, or are you content to continue whining about the way things "have to be." Do you really think you were put on this planet to complain about how crappy things are? Get off your butt and get going. And write me to tell me what you gained as a result of doing this exercise, I'd love to hear about your results.

Abolish the Victim Mentality

We've all been there at some point. Wallowing in our own muck and misery, playing hte role of hte victim. Unfortunately, many people do not even realize this is what they are doing, which only serves to keep them stuck.

How can you tell if you're playing the victim? Here's a simple 3-step test:

1. Do you complain about your life, your situation, your circumstances, your relationships or yourself?

2. Do you feel stuck, like you have no other options?

3. Do you share your sorrows with other people and bravely accept their verbal support for your suffering?

If you answered yes to at least one of hte above questions, you are a VICTIM.

Now, there's nothing bad or "wrong" with being a victim, so long as you realize it's what you're choosing. Sadly, most people don't see it that way. They think they're stuck being a victim because that's what life dealt them, they're being punished for some "sin" or another, or it's someone else's fault. Those of us on the path of Truth know that's a bunch of hooey.

Each of us is reposnsible for wherever we are in life right now. 100%. Your husband left you? Well, didn't YOU pick him to marry? Your job sucks? Well, that's because YOU show up for work every day. You're broke? Of course you are. You speak of lack and loss almost constantly. What else do you expect?

Like I was saying, none of this is "bad" or "wrong," it's just that playing hte victim is a very disempowering place to be. You can't be powerful and be a victim at hte same time. You can't blame your circumstance and expect to take control of hte situation. These cannot co-exist.

You've got to give up the victim role if you want different results.

How can you do that? Well, we'll cover that tomorrow. Until then, consider this question of hte day:

Where in your life do you lack the ability to deal with life powerfully? Where do you just feel stuck, like things are just the way they are and they ain't ever gonna change? Is it your health? Your marriage? Your career? Your spirituality? Your well-being? Your stress level? Your bank account? Make a list of all the areas where you lack full power and full self-expression and show up tomorrow for some guidance on how to break free.

Unless of course, you choose to continue playing the victim. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But you'll have a lot more fun with us over here on the bright side of life.

The Word of the Day Is: Partnership

I do apologize for not posting in a week...things have been rolling and rolling and rolling! The past week has been all about partnership! I can't even tell you how many joint ventures I'm launching or proposing these days. It's truly amazing.

But let me clearly define what I'm talking about.

Partnership is different from relationship. A relationship simply describes how you and another person relate to each other. A partnership is a special kind of relationship where two or more people join together to work toward the same common goal.

For example, if you want to buy a house, you'll develop a partnership with a mortgage lender. You both have the same goal: to put you in a loan that will enable you to buy the house you want.

Naturally, each partner has side agendas (the mortgage lender wants to make money off your loan and you want to pay as little as possible) but the common goal is hte same: to get you into a loan.

Lately, partnership is somehting that is coming naturally for me.

So what changed, you may ask?

Well, the same thing that must always change in order for ME to experience differnt results in my life....that's right, ME.

Nothing in your life will ever change until you do. (Life gets better when you get better.) So I changed and now opportunities are flowing to me endlessly.

I decided to be more open with people. In the past, I've tended to open up to people just enough to make them think I'm a good friend. Then when things got too close, I'd bail, no matter what else was going on. It just didn't seem safe to let people in too close, you know?

But I decided that all that was just a story in my head, so I let it go. I started really letting people in, and really showing them what I'm all about. As a result, everyone wants more of what I've got. Partnerships are literally coming to me out of thin air, out of the woodwork.

It's truly amazing what I can accomplish this year. ideas are free-flowing to me and as I approach each idea for a partnership, I have no attachment to the outcome whatsoever. See, I have so many ideas, and I have so many potential partnerships that I know I can create, it doesn't matter if someone tells me no. If one person says no, who cares? I have 100 more people to talk to, many of whom will say yes.

And if there's a particular project I want to take on, and the person I think the project is to be with says no, that simply means someone else is out there who is more suited to a partnership with me.

This is a very exciting time.

How many partnerships do you have in your life that you are truly excited about? Notice, I said partnerships, not relationships. There is a huge difference, as I explained above.

How would your life change if you had an abundance of partnerships that you were truly excited about?

Your QoD:
What can you change today to open the door to more fulfilling partnerships? Will you step forward nad take that action today? If not, what will your life be like a year from now if you don't do anything differently?

You GET What You FOCUS on...

You get what you focus on, it's as simple as that. Rather than complicate it, I'll just illustrate with some personal examples.

In the past, when I've focused on what I don't have, I got more lack. Focusing on piles of bills creates...you guessed it, more bills. Unexpected car expenses. Unplanned emergencies that are, yep, expensive. Etc.

The cruel (or ultimately freeing, depending on how you look at it) secret is that all you have to do is focus on what you want instead of what you've got.

Landmark recently provided me with this totally apropos quote:

What you HAVE is in the past.
What you are DOING is in the present.
Your declaration for who you are BEING is from the future.

In other words, when you focus on what you have now (or don't have), you are stuck in the past, and you get more of what you already have but don't want. When you take action, you can only take action in the now. Of course, if you're stuck thinking about the past all the time, you're going to naturally take action consistent with that, which means you get more of the same. Interesting, no?

HOWEVER....when you declare something for yourself (hopefully, what you really want) you are creating it in the future. When you train your focus there, on what you want, you are focused on teh future, which creates a realm of endless possibility, free from the constraints of the past.

For example...recently I decided to focus on plenty. Plenty of everything, everywhere in my life. It's no wonder I now have more emails than I can read, we chose a buffet for dinner tonite (plenty of options, for sure!), money is flowing in hand over fist and I am receiving clients and leads like you can't even imagine.

By declaring that I am open to receive plenty, I naturally take actions consistent with that declaration (in the present). What I had when I declared it is irrelevant, because it was in the past and didn't even warrant my attention.

Are you getting this? I sure hope so, because it is critical, and I mean critical to your happiness and well-being.

My husband recently started focusing on his health. Guess what he attracted? An amazing healer who is helping him identify and clear several underlying food allergies we long suspected but could never confirm through traditional medicine. This week, he is experiencing more energy and vitality than he's had in I don't know HOW long. It's truly amazing to watch.

So you'll get what you focus on. If you're not sure what you've been focusing on lately, take a look at the results you have RIGHT NOW. That's a great indication of your past focus. Not enough money? Bad relationship? Crappy job? Poor health? Yep, all a product of your past thinking.

OF course, the good news is that you are free to change your thinking at any time. Like now, or now, or right now, or how about now?

As for me, right NOW it's time to head to bed, so I'll leave you with your QoD:

What results do I have RIGHT NOW that are a product of my focus in the immediate past? How can I reframe my thinking and direct my energy to define and focus on what I really want, as a declaration from my future?

Now get to work on it!

I've Been Thinking...Have You?

Have you given any thought to my earlier suggestion? You know, the one about having all the time you need to do everything you want to do.

I've been thinking about it pretty much non-stop since I mentioned it to you.

And I've noticed some extraordinary things as a result. For starters, I am catching myself when I say things that indicate my belief in a lack of time. I am even beginning to catch myself when I have thoughts such as these, before the words are even forming in my mouth. Now that's progress!

As a result, I am much more relaxed, and I am truly beginning to believe I have all the time I need. Of course, I'm no longer wasting time either. No more aimless internet surfing which I used to label "research time." No more sitting with my daughter while she watches Veggie Tales for the umpteenth time. No more yakking on the phone unless it's a productive conversation (for me and the other person). Yeah, I am definitely using my time more wisely.

Thanks to these advancements, we are in fact finding ourselves with a little extra time on our hands. So we're heading to the mountains in the morning for a mini ski holiday. Just catching the end of season snow before it's time for more springlike activities like hiking and biking.

But I couldn't leave you without a question of hte day:
How is your language shaping your reality? What words or phrases do you use repeatedly (positive or otherwise) and what results in your life do you see as a direct result of that? Are you aware that your subconscious cannot take a joke, and it must process what it receives literally? What are YOU feeding your mind?

Too Much Time on Your Hands?

What is hte deal with time, anyway? Some people seem to have way too much time on their hands and others never seem to have enough hours in their day.

Of course, you can learn about the Myth of Time Management and what you can do about it in my book The Success Method. But this is a different kind of discussion.

Consider this:

What is time?
Who invented time?
Is time real?
Why can we only move forwards?
Why do we keep getting "stuck" in the past and repeating the same mistakes?
How can we change the future?

Now consider something really radical.

What if we have all the time we need to do everything we'd like to do?

Hmmm...what does that look like? I can't tell you how often I hear people say they don't have enough time, hurry up, you're wasting time, let's go, gotta move quick, I don't have time for that, I'd love to but I havne't got the time, Do you have the time? etc. etc. etc.

But what if that's all just a story?

What if you really have all the time in the world? What would THAT be like?

And that, my friend, is your question of the day. Chew on that for a bit, and let me know what you come up with.

The Art of Detachment, or, How to Manifest Effortlessly

Recently, I was telling a friend of mine how easily things are coming to me lately. I mean I can just have a passing thought and *poof* it shows up in reality within hours or days. It's like I'm the Master Manifestor lately, the Queen of Creation. It's easy. It's fun. I admit, I'm having a blast.

This friend asked me what changed?

Hmmm, I thought.

Well, I don't want to pick it apart too much, like I'll jinx my winning streak or soemthing, but I suppose I finally learned to detach.

when I read Dr. Joe Vitale's book the Attractor Factor, I was like "what does he mean by detach? How can I want something so badly and then not care whether or not I get it?"

It's weird. It's like getting balance when learning to ride a bike. Impossible to explain, it must be experienced. But then once you experience it, you've got it for good.

Yeah, that's how I feel. In the past, it was like I was "trying" to detach. Kind of like seeing the dessert cart and forcing yourself not to want something on it. It's much easier to just not even see the dessert cart in the first place, right? Or to see it and release it. Much more effective than "trying" not to want it.

I suppose that's what I've learned to do. Well, maybe not so much with teh dessert cart, but with whatever I want.

Also, instead of wanting something and deliberately trying to force it, I now just simply decide I'll have something and start thinking about what it's gonna take to get it. Usually as soon as I shift my attention elsewhere, it shows up.

What kind of things has this worked on? Well, I'll tell you.

Finding the ultimate person to assist me with energy work and body work.
Getting my new construction home finished two months early (so far, now I'm shooting for 3 months).
Attracting people to help me do whatever I've decided to do but have no idea how to do.
Finding lost things.
Buying precious items at ridiculously low prices below cost.
Getting rid of illnesses and discomforts.

You name it.

I'm at the point now when I can think, "Gee, I'd really like to have a ___." and I guarantee within a week it'll show up (or something better).

Maybe part of it is being open to the something better.

For example:

A few weeks ago, we were atetnding a wedding of some very good friends. We decided to buy them a Lladro as a gift. We've always admired teh pieces, but we don't own any. I told my husband I'd like to buy one for our 10-year wedding annivesary (last month). Then we continued our traveling and I forgot all about it.

A week later, I was attending a fundraising auction at our church. Guess what one of the surprise items was? A Lladro. It was a retired piece, so they couldn't find it on the internet, so they set hte initial bid ridiculously low--$75. Come on, you can't even buy a brand new one for under $150, much less a retired piece!

I bought the Lladro for $120 and gladly wrote a check to my church. I came home and did more detailed resaerch (I am a savvy internet researcher!) and while I was unable to discover the piece's true value, it is for sale on collector sites for approximately $1200. That means the real value is at least TEN TIMES what I paid for it! Not that I would ever part with it. It will continue to increawse in value, since a limited numebr of peices were made.

Now, at the time that I made my request, I didn't care what piece. I just wanted to own a Lladro.

Had I set my sights on a specific piece (not that there's anything wrong with that), it probably would have taken the Universe a little longer to deliver my request. But it still would have delivered it.

So I suppose the second key is getting clear on what you want, but not more specific than what's required. I asked for a Lladro - I didn't get more specific than that, becasue I didn;t care what piece. But I love the ones in the "elegant ladies" line, and that's exactly what I got. (you can look it up if you like - it's called Afternoon Tea)

Here is your QoD:
What is blocking your good from being delivered to you? What steps can you take to release the blocks and allow your good to flow to you?

Success Chases Integrity

I've always heard this expression, but it's only very recently that I've come to understand it.

Where to begin? We talk a lot about the Law of Attraction on this website, as it is such an essential ingredient to success. Let me explain how the Law of Attraction is related to integrity.

Most people (and here we're talking about "average" people, not necessarily people like you and me) don't keep their promises. They blather on and on and don't mean half of what they say, and then they don't take responsibility for the rest of what they say.

For example: you probably someone who is always complaining about how their job sucks. They aren't even looking for another job, or for a way to make their job less sucky, they just complain about it. So according to the law of attraction, what are they attracting into their reality? More suckiness, on and (bonus!) off the job. Yet they never take responsibility that they are the ones creating the suckiness by thier constant whining about it (not to mention actually taking responsibility that it was THEIR choice to take the job and it remains THEIR choice to continue in teh job). They say things like "this new boss is killing me" and then they wonder why they get an ulcer or a heart attack. This is what I mean by "they don't mean half of what they say" and that they don't take responsibility for what they say that they do mean.

When you start to get in touch with what INTEGRITY means, you begin to monitor what you say, instead of speaking unconscoiusly. When you practice integrity, you don't go around telling people you're gonna do stuff you have no intention of doing.

For example, if you're practicing integrity, you wouldn't tell someone "let's get together some time" if you have no intention of doing that. It just wouldn't occur to you to say it unless you meant it.

Capisce?

OK, so then let's talk about how success chases integrity.

When you are focused on integrity, and I mean focused on living in integrity, you are practicing saying what you mean and meaning what you say. When you say what you mean and mean what you say, all you've gotta do is TAKE ACTION to do whatever you said you would do, and you're in integrity.

So simple, yet so few actually heed this magnificent advice. (YEs, it's magnificent -- it's not like I'm the one who made this up, so drop your story about how arrogant I am).

Seriously...if you say you're going to do something, and then you take steps (action) to do it, you are in integrity.

Still puzzled as to how this relates to success?

Well, let's take a look at your goals. And don't tell me you don't have any goals...if that's true, do yourself a favor -- stop what you're doing and go here. Buy it, read it, live it. Seriously, and it's less than 20 bucks, so I don't want to hear your lame excuses.

Now, about those goals you have. If you say you're going to do somehting (anything), especially if it's in the form of a goal, and you take the actino required to make that goal a reality, then naturally you will achieve success. In this case, we're defining success as the ability to set and achieve your goals.

It's impossible to NOT achieve your goals if you are in integrity and you persist wihtout exception.

But persistence is a topic for another day.

So if you're not achieving your goals, then it's time to take a look at where in your life you're out of integrity. In fact, that leads me to our QoD (nice segue, eh?):

Where in your life are you out of integrity, and what action can you take beginning RIGHT NOW to get into integrity? How will this ultimately assist you in achieving your goals?

No April Fool's

It's amazing what happens when you quit your job and go to work for yourself. Sure, lots of things happen and you experience a change in many areas, but what I'm present to today is the fact that holidays show up completely differently for me now.

For one thing, now that I work for myself, I no longer look forward to holidays like a drooling mutt looks forward to table scraps. Instead of relishing on one measly day off work, I'm focused on whatever we're planning for the holiday.

Most minor holidays go completely unnoticed by me now. In fact, I didn't even realize it was April Fool's Day yesterday until that evening, even though I wrote the date on a couple of different things during hte day.

In the past, I would have relished the chance to break the monotony present in so many jobs by creating an elaborate April Fool's prank. I would execute it with the intention of shaking things up a bit, having fun and getting attention. Antyhing to take my mind off actual WORK, of course.

And I also would have been a little paranoid about getting played myself.

But this year, it didn't even cross my mind. Interesting how that works.

While thinking about this, I realized that there were a lot of things I did to take my mind off of work itself. I think most people who are in unfulfilling jobs can relate to this. It's no wonder birthdays result in an office celebration -- cake is great for temporarily numbing the boredom of the typical workday. Moments of brightness pepper the gloom, at least that's how I remember it.

What's also interesting is that people who claim to love their job are often times the first ones to complain when things go wrong, and to excitedly anticipate their two weeks of vacation per year.

When you work for yourself, you get to indulge when you feel like it. Go skiing on a Wednesday. Take a 3-hour lunch on a Monday. Stay in your pajamas until the afternoon...every day. Just a few of hte perqs.

Of course, not everyone is cut out for hteir own business. Most people need the constant accountability of having to be in a certain place by a certain time fo ra certain number of hours each day. It's not easy to be self-disciplined; we just aren't cut out for it. Plus, our environment doens't support it.

Yet home-based businesses are growing faster than ever before, and more and more people are finding success and bliss in working for themselves.

Then you turn out like me: psychologically unemployable.

But (as usual) I digress.

Here is the long-awaited (long after reading this whole posting) question of the Day (QoD):

If you are self-employed:
What is the most significant change you notice now that you're self-employed?

If you are not self-employed:
What's holding you back from starting or growing that business you've always dreamed about? Where will you be a year from now if you don't do anything differently?